... or as my mother would say ...

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the schoolroom

recommended reading

freshman writing

"canadian" irony

or as my mother would say

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Moms say the coolest things, at least mine does! Below are some of my favorite mom-isms. Use them today to make your conversations a little bit more colorful!

Normal word	Funner Word
fork	fark
token	tolkein
convenient	cornvenient
button	bouton
office	orifice
doo-dad	goo-ga
souvenier (memento)	pimento

The Disney Version

[Mickey on the beach]

Warning: may contain adult language!

So we went to Disney World. Don't ask me why we went there. We are by no means cheerleaders for the disnification of America (e.g.: New York's Times Square, movies like "Air Bud," the over-thematization of the world). But this was in the early days of the Disney World/Epcot Center/MGM Studios triumvirate. We were good people, who still wanted to believe that Disney, Inc. had no evil motives. "Florida is a little freaky, but Disney is fun," we might have told ourselves. Or, "Epcot will be a great cultural experience and we can learn about animation on the Disney/MGM Studios tour!" We were, however, subversive enough to invent and play this nasty, little word game while we were touring the wonderful, pristine, manicured, fun-for-all-ages, don't-let-the-kids-see-you-without-the-Goofy-head-on world of Disney.

So here's how it all started. Mom's husband had his own mom-isms, usually of a more scatological nature. Our favorite was RICOCKULOUS, formed by a synonym substitution in the middle of the word ridiculous. (Get it?) OK, so we began to apply this transformation to other words in a more direct way. Any syllable which sounded like cock would be replaced. The following words were repeated many times during our stay:

Epcock Center
Orville Redencocker popcorn
Cockolate

In a slightly different vein, but admittedly no less scatological, we invented a new name for the restroom facilities at Disney World. As we all know, Disney World is made up of Tomorrow Land, Fantasy Land, This World and That World. The restrooms, however, are still just the restrooms. Before we came along, they had or formed no theme of their own. Thus, we invented Pee World. Now we can say lovely, little things like, "Pee Worlds are located conveniently (or as my mother would say, cornveniently) throughout the park." And, "Man, I have got to find a Pee World before we go on Space Mountain!"

PeeWorld

Speaking of Disney...

Be afraid. Be very afraid! For Anti-Disney information, read Team Rodent: How Disney Devours the World by Carl Hiaasen or check out The Society of Disney Haters.
[Tinkerbell]

Bye, bye now. And just remember, it's a small world and if Disney has its way, it will just keep getting smaller and faker and more and more hegemonic (trust me, it's a bad thing)!